Agony or Ecstasy: What do Readers Want?
Agony
or Ecstasy?
After having written four “manlove” novels (two historical and two contemporary), I was caught short a few days ago by a side comment about my book Noble, Nevada. The novel was being offered free as an incentive to participate in a bloghop, and a commenter made the following remark:
“Oh, that sounds so angsty. I’ll love it.”
I admit that I was puzzled by that statement. Yes, the lovers in NN do get caught up in an anxiety-ridden situation. And one of them has an abusive father. And yes, one of them has not escaped from a former girlfriend without emotional scars.
But . . . angst?
I began to mentally review my MM books and realized that quite unconsciously I had given each of my gay characters some psychological handicaps that none of my other non-gay characters had. I am a person who has always looked hard at the human condition, and I know that every one of us--gays and straights alike--are or have been victims of mental and physical abuse, or objects of bullying, or the broken remains of broken homes . . . or any number of angst-filled histories. So why does it seem that my (and other writers’) gay characters are made to suffer a little more, and a little longer, than the others? And do readers really gravitate toward love stories that are nevertheless rife with suffering?
I asked the members of my FB group Erotica Writers & Readers to weigh in on the question, “For those of you who have ever read MM lit, which do you prefer to explore: the agony, or the ecstasy? I mean, the angst often associated with the homoerotic lifestyle, or the joys of the sexual union between the two lovers?”
The M/M writer Piper Kay said,
My focus is on both ecstasy and agony. My characters seem to struggle with the coming out phase. They tend to wage war on themselves because all the “stereotypical” things they'd ever heard from family or friends comes back in and reinforce doubts. However, once my characters stop fighting what feels natural, the ecstasy comes on hard (pun definitely intended).
I agree. The “coming-out phase” by itself is a major source of suffering for many in the GLBTQ community. This last Sunday evening, in fact, the actress Jody Foster revealed her homosexuality in a speech that my husband referred to as “an emotional train wreck.”
Wren Hartwood, an emerging author, weighed in as follows:
The answer is not so easy. I prefer the angst to be a driving force. It's an obstacle that changes the m.c.'s, causing them to be something, or become aware of something, they were not at the start of the story. But, having said that, give us that yummy ecstasy as well! There has to be a reward, right?
Right, Wren! I agree! But there are writers who emphatically disagree that joy or ecstasy needs to be the end point of a homoerotic relationship.
Transgressional erotica author Sessha Batto argues that for her, the M/M relationships must turn on “internal angst,” because
. . . my stories revolve around a character's inner evolution to accept love and affection. Ecstasy. . . sometimes. Not all my sex is loving. Some is rough, some abusive, because the experiences of our lives make us (or our characters) who they are.
Sessha goes on to say that the more HEA-oriented M/M writing involves characters who are clearly more “male” and more “female,” and that such a dichotomy almost requires that the “sweet side” wins out at the end. In other words--we want the angst, yet we crave the happily-ever-after in order to complete the circle:
In a number of the ones I read (which is by no means representative of the entire genre, I can't speak to that) one partner was definitely cast in a more feminine role, and reacted in what seemed to me to be a stereotypical feminine way. Perhaps for the sweet side you need that male/female dichotomy?
Morgann Roddy, a writer of MM paranormals, picks up on the theme of the “light,” the happy ending:
But most of us need the ecstasy, the light, the Happy Ever After, in order to tell ourselves that the stars are still up there, guiding us onwards. If humanity could remember that the stars are there, even when we can't see them, I think we'd be able to more readily accept conflict and be able to deal with angst and heartbreak in a more rational and forgiving manner.”
Finally, Wren Harwood weighed back in on the subject of the happy ending, reminding us that all well-written novels contain what she calls a “profit and loss column.” We all set up dichotomies--tensions--that the characters need to work through. And “even in pain lies pleasure--for someone.”
These comments hardly constitute a rigorous cross section of opinion, or a true “mathematical sample.” But they teach me that in my pleasure-filled, riotously exuberant sexual unions, I need to remember to focus on the dark side, before I reach the light. Because yes, I am an author who shamelessly guides my characters to the light.
In the comment section below, I welcome your own opinions. Here are a few important links for the readers of this blog:
Piper Kay, author of Twisted Cherry, can be found at http://about.me/piper.kay
Sessha Batto, artist and writer of transgressional erotica, centers her work on this site http://sesshabattousai.com/Shinobi.html
Morgann Roddy, author of MM paranormals, has a blogsite here: http://mo8832.wix.com/undiscloseesires
Watch for great things from Wren Harwood, who prefers fantasy mixed with a good dose of passion.
Photo credit: tatts by Johnny Gage, go to www.crayfordtattoostudio.com
Sistine chapel frescos and sketch by Michaelangelo, in the public domain
Facebook group: become a member here https://www.facebook.com/groups/eroticawritersandreadersgroup
Finally, my M/M under discussion, NOBLE, NEVADA, is available both at Amazon and here on the AQP blogsite: http://amzn.to/TDp4KV and http://bit.ly/UMRlx9
Finally, my M/M under discussion, NOBLE, NEVADA, is available both at Amazon and here on the AQP blogsite: http://amzn.to/TDp4KV and http://bit.ly/UMRlx9
A POSTSCRIPT: Thanks, all of you, for the lively discussion. I really enjoyed reading what you had to say.
In less than a week, my next novel in the "Noble Dimensions" series will debut. Called THE CHASE, it explores the emotional aftermath of a gay man being rejected by his father...and another man's search for the reality behind a years-long tormented fantasy.
Angsty? Yes. But I hope readers will feel satisfied at the end. I will say only that this is my favorite so far of the five MM books I have written. (That fifth one is still unsubmitted.)
Watch this blog starting Jan. 22 for my article on THE CHASE. Love you all! ~Erin
Labels: angst of homoerotica, Erin O'Quinn, GLBT writing, joy and angst of GLBT lifestyle, joys and angst in MM writing, Morgann Roddy, Piper Kay, Sessha Batto, Wren Harwood
posted by Erin OQuinn at 4:00 AM
17 Comments:
Erin, what a great blog topic. I still believe that there has to be a combination of both ecstasy and agony. That is what all couples experience, not just M/M or F/F. In my opinion is shows the 'real life' situations that people experience. I know for me personally, I love reading about the obstacles that a couple goes through and how that can bring them closer. It gives the characters bonding points on the overall scale to happiness. Not all end happily ever after, because that is just not real life. When I read, I like the roller coaster of emotions and to see how they make it through the agony to get to the ecstasy, even if only temporary.
First, Piper, thank you for being an important contributor to this article. I was struck by the "coming out" of the actress the other night, and I thought about what you had said about the agonies involved getting to that point of public admission of one's homosexuality. I think with your characters, there is the even deeper angst of admitting it first to themselves.
Great stuff! Thanks for adding your valuable insights. I hope folks will read your "Twisted Cherry" for the agony (of the needle) and the joy (of the getting there, and then of the climax). :~)
Very interesting blog topic, Erin. I love to see that, no matter the different impetus behind each author's decisions, in the end angst is, indeed, a central theme. It isn't something I consciously realized until I saw it all pulled together like this. Nice job!
You're kind, Miss Sessha. Thanks for your comments...here, and especially in my article today.
Being a writer of transgressional themes, what you have to say on the subject is extremely important to me, and should be of absorbing interest to all writers and readers of GLBT lit.
For me, your erotica runs the gamut of that old cliché "agony and ecstasy," giving the words a whole other dimension. I'm proud to present your insights today.
I especially hope that traditional writers will visit your blogsite and be introduced to the Sessha Batto-brand of scorching erotica.
Exceptionally enlightening discussion. The romance genre has been accused of fostering unrealistic expectations for women. Here's an interesting discussion (pertaining to M/F but still valid conceptually): http://www.romanceatrandom.com/do-romance-novels-give-women-unrealistic-relationship-expectations/
I prefer, and write, gritty realism: it's not pretty, sometimes it doesn't end well, but it speaks to truth and the ability for the heart to find a balance in the emotional firestorm we often face.
Thanks, Nya...one of my fave authors...I always like to hear from you.
I like to write about that elusive pot of gold, all the while making the fabled trip to the rainbow's end a little rocky. Is that an unrealistic expectation of my own? Probably. Probably my own broken psyche crying out for that birds-a-twittering scenario to go to when I sleep, my happy place.
There is no easy answer. Probably because there IS no answer.
Hi everyone.
So people seem to know each other here so I'll introduce myself quickly. I am a M/M erotic short author for Horny Devil Publishing.
When I write, I think it is important to have some type of internal angst. Something either between the characters or between the character and his environment. I feel like there is definitely a moment in time when you read and think "Would this really happen?" or "Would I feel like this?" when you are writing. I think, even in paranormal (mine are about werewolves), there is a realistic love in the undercurrents of the story. There is some trust to the feelings felt between the males.
Does this mean that every person written in a m/m story has to have some type of psychological problem? No, because in real life, not every gay person has this issue. Those that know they are gay and live that way and love that way have no issues. Yes, probably at the time when they "came out" because that is a large jump to take, but I dont know if the "overcoming this problem" should be the driving force behind a story. While it does create character and makes a GREAT driving force, it doesn't need to be.
Now I am a large advocate for LGBTQ rights and I think that the more people write about the angst and heat between lovers, the stronger the population grows for acceptance.
I hope I made some sense in my ideas on this. I feel like I may have gotten jumbled up a bit.
This was wonderfully put together. I think things like this should happen more often. I like the 'feel' of this blog, Erin, equally as much as I like the rest of your stuff, but this one gives me inner glimpses into authors (including myself; do I always go on like that?) that I think readers often miss when the focus is on the characters. It's intriguing - and knowing that there are authors out there who write like me makes me feel a little less lonely about the whole thing.
Thank you, first of all JC, for visiting this blog and for responding in a thoughtful way to our conversation.
No, the agony, the angst, is not always there. Nor should it be, as you point out. Not every person is ridded with psychological problems. Haha. No. In fact, my current WIP is a comedy, a farce between a horny Irishman and a surly investigator. Yes, they have inner problems, but not the kind we're talking about here. Nor should they. They're fun, they're adversarial, they're in rut.
Thanks for stopping by. I love the sound of your were M/Ms. Write happy. :~)
Mo,you're right. We need to do this more often. I mean have earnest conversations about the deeper elements of our writing and about the authors we love to read.
I'm fortunate to know you, and the rest of those talented people on EW&R. I hope readers of this blog will go to that link and become members too.
So glad you're here, and I'll have my chance SOON to read UNDISCLOSED DESIRES. Can hardly wait!!
Write happy. :~)
Great blog, Erin. As a writer, I love putting my characters through the agony of the same everyday obstacles we all experience. And if they're very very good then they get rewarded with an extra helping of ecstasy. As a reader, I want the same thing. I don't mind suffering along with the character provided he/she gets his/her just reward at the end.
Hi, Christiane,
You and I are alike on that score! It's almost as though I was one or both of the partners, the way I crave to have my guys end in passion and joy too. When they do, I do. Vicarious ecstasy.
Thanks for stopping by, reading and commenting. I appreciate you.
Hi Erin! Sorry it has taken so long to respond to you. As you know, sometimes things are beyond our control. Things like ISP's, 900' of faulty phone-lines and a modem with the hiccups! I really enjoyed your article. In all honesty I've never really thought about it. Reading your thoughts on this was insightful. I sit down and write, having a few trials in mind, and go from there.
All relationships have issues, some even have whole entire subscriptions! I've watched a very close friend of mine 'come out of the closet', leaving off her facade of what society constitutes a 'normal' marriage, her struggle to find herself, and then once again love. It is hard because of external societal pressures as well as internal quest for equilibrium again. For other relationships it may be something entirely internal which leads to an external problem(s).
Either way, I think all aspects of human psychology need to be explored and expanded upon in our work no matter the gender. Love can be a treacherous quagmire. Being human with all our foibles and faults is a wonderful well to draw from, filled with humor, angst, and if we are lucky, ecstasy! I am honored that you made mention of me in your wonderful article. Great job and thank you Erin!
Dear Wren,
I'm pleased that you added such depth to the discussion, and that you came back and added more. You are so right, that the human condition is full of every emotion, feelings that cover the spectrum of life. It's up to us as authors to present those complex emotions for the edification and enjoyment of our readers.
No matter the couples, no matter the sexual orientation, all humans share the basic needs and wants. As authors, we have accepted the burden of exploring those needs and wants, and presenting them to readers. We sometimes succeed, and sometimes we fail. But we always try.
very interesting exploration! As an avid reader as well as a writer, I like the conflict and the idea that any couple has to win through obstacles and really deserve their HEA--so there is angst and agony but the joy and wonder is there too--at many steps along the way; the fact it is fleeting keeps us reading--will the pair find it again? I don't see any difference in m/f m/m or f/f pairs here--I love a love story and that the happiness is a reward and not forgone conclusion (even if it is a rule for romance!
Hi there Gwynn-Deirdre,
I like your way of thinking. In all literature, the road to resoluition is rife with conflict. It's not always a happy one (as Sessha points out), but for most readers it certainly is the readers' "reward" at the end.
The HEA rule is set by most publishers, really because most readers feel a bit cheated without that reward. But it's important to point out that not all readers want or expect it.
Thanks for adding to this discussion. I've learned a lot about readers, and actually about my own exectations as a reader. I hope my new insights will make me a better author.
~Erin
Thanks, all of you, for the lively discussion. I really enjoyed reading what you had to say.
In less than a week, my next novel in the "Noble Dimensions" series will debut. Called THE CHASE, it explores the emotional aftermath of a gay man being rejected by his father...and another man's search for the reality behind a years-long tormented fantasy.
Angsty? Yes. But I hope readers will feel satisfied at the end. I will say only that this is my favorite so far of the five MM books I have written. (That fifth one is still unsubmitted.)
Watch this blog starting Jan. 22 for my article on THE CHASE. Love you all! ~Erin
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